Joke Emails

Sent: Saturday, 29 April 2000 8:53 a.m.
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:@smtp4.ihug.co.nz;
Subject: Fw: Creative Bumper stickers lol

If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings."
Practice Safe Sex. Go Screw Yourself.
It's Been Lovely, But I Have To Scream Now.
"Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point."
If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
Thank You For Smoking Pot.
Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That.
Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!
Constipated people don't give a crap.
If you drink, don't park--accidents cause people.
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
My kid got your honor roll student pregnant.
To all you virgins: Thanks for nothing.
If at first you don't succeed...blame someone else and seek counseling.
If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.
Horn broken...watch for finger.
Honk If You Love Rear End Collisions!
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
I Have The Body Of A God......Buddha.
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me.
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
Illiterate? Write For Help.
Honk If Anything Falls Off.
Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
Necrophillia: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.
Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel
Boldly going nowhere
CAT: The other white meat
Heart Attacks...God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, riddle them with bullets
WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition

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